Make it work – 5 tips for interfaith relationship
I know that every relationship is different and what works for me may not work for you. However, as I live this dichotomy everyday, I feel that I am knowledgeable enough to share my findings with you. Here they are:1. Be careful when accepting advice about interfaith relationships, some advice will not be relevant to your situation. This is the most important suggestion, follow your heart always!
2. Don’t diminish your faith in the process of working things out.
After some time, I realized that my religious values and especially cultural traditions run much deeper than I thought. Be careful not to give up too quickly on things that are important to you; instead, try to make things work. Otherwise, you may resent this later on. For example, celebrating Christmas means to me a major family time. We decided not to have a Christmas tree, but we spend the night with my family exchanging presents and having dinner.
3. Let each holiday have integrity. Some people talk about combining holidays and, for me, this is not the best solution to the holiday issue. The problem is that the meaning of both festivities gets lost. Last year, stores were selling Christmas kippa and Christmas tree decorated with menorahs and Stars of David. For me, this is a huge religious mess because Christmas and Hannukah are not about the same thing
4. Don’t ask your partner to worship or celebrate in ways that compromise their own identity. It was our first Christmas party, my cousins and I had bought a Santa costume and we were in desperate need for a Santa Claus. The only adult in the room that was strange to the kids was B. I asked him to be the Santa Claus and hand out the presents, but he refused. I confess that I was a little shocked that he would not participate and help us play with the kids, but today I understand better his principles and beliefs. So, don’t ask your partner to do something against his values.
5. Just remember that every relationship involves difference, compromise and ongoing effort. Oh, I almost forgot…my last but not least recommendation, laugh, have fun and never EVER go to sleep mad at each other.
posted by Ruth @ 9:54 AM
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