The Jewish Mom
Jewtopia is a very successful off-Broadway comedy by Bryan Fogel and Sam Wolfson that tells the story of a gentile who wants to marry a Jewish girl – any Jewish girl - so he’ll never have to make another decision in his life. And his Jewish friend that needs to find a Jewish-wife in order to please his parents and grandmother. Needless to say, I went with my husband – let’s start calling him B – and we had a great time. I found this very enlightening because, not only had I realized that so many small things are not particularities of his family, but also that my abnormal mother-in-law is normal. That definitely improved our relationship. Actually, after some time we became great friends! (this is not a joke).
While living in Brazil, I had no contact with the Jewish community so I thought that the Jewish-mother stereotype was just a big joke.
After I got married, I realized that I was wrong – the general stereotype involving a nagging, overprotective and overbearing mother that is often getting involved in her children’s lives long after they have grown up is true. Unfortunately, I learned this the hard way.
She calls almost everyday to check if we have some news or just to check where we are or what we are doing. She truly believes that her son is “the perfect guy” and that I am the lucky one. Oh, this is great, he will only realize how good she is once she is dead. Huge drama!
I have to mention that I also have a Jewish grandma in my life. She calls at least once a week. Whenever I visit her, I have to eat five desserts and take food home. She always comments that B. is too thin. The other day she called while he was cooking dinner and she got so concern that she asked where I was!
Oh, by the way, this play made me realize that not having a controlling woman nearby and being able to make decisions was one of the reasons that B had chosen me. Suddenly, I just realized how Japanese and Jewish cultures are very alike. I chose not to marry a Japanese guy for the fact that they are generally too bossy.
posted by Ruth @ 11:27 PM
2 Comments:
Thank you for creating this blog. I guess stereotypes have to come from somewhere. I remember laughing through Jewtopia, but as a Jewish man, I also felt embarrassed at how much it relied on stereotypes to get laughs. I still have mixed feeling about it. It's very much a caricature, and yet...I'm trying to think of a Jewish mom I know who is not very much involved in her (adult) children's lives! Not all of them are totally pushy though. ;)
Dear Paul, I agree that the play relies too much on stereotypes. I read some bad reviews. There was one scene in which Adam asks Chris why he doesn't convert to Judaism. They talk about this personal decision as if it had the same weight as switching from frappucino to mochacino at Starbucks.
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